


Cancer Salad

by DoritoDew



Series: bullshit i pull out of my ass [1]
Category: Call of Duty, Dragon Ball, Five Nights at Freddy's, Internet Personalities, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Steven Universe (Cartoon), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, OH GOD WHY, Please Kill Me, cancerous fandoms, i really fucked up this time guys, i regret making this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 03:04:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7996240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoritoDew/pseuds/DoritoDew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>cancer incarnate</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cancer Salad

One night, Foxy was in the Pirate Cove, surfing the Deep Web and fapping to small children. "oh yea smol chld, gv 2 meh!" he said, which alerted Freddy, Bonnie and Mike. They were playing strip poker in the office. "What is going on here?" Mike asked. "Yeah!?" Freddy added. "Foxy! Child porn is illega---" Before Bonnie could finish his sentence, Foxy bit Mike's head off and cut extremely deep gashes into Freddy and Bonnie with his hook. "That should get rid of ye, scurvy landlubbers!" Foxy said, when a portal appeared. Out of the portal appeared Rainbow Dash, but she had boobs and a dripping vagina. "The Council of Fandoms told me about your Onion history, now get off of the Deep Web before I summon the others. "Never!" Foxy ran towards her, but she dodged extremely quickly. She then took out a hammer and hit Foxy in the nose with it. "Dammit! You  _will_ pay for that!" Foxy said.

Foxy ran to the office and took out Mike's cellphone before calling someone. After the convo ended, Pearl came out of the gem teleporter which was for some reason in the kitchen. However, she had big boobs, slight chub, and was in a bikini. She took out her spear and hit Rainbow with it. "Ow! Damn you, you fucking autist!" Rainbow said. "Don't you dare say something like that! How would  _you_ feel if Applejack said that to you?" Pearl asked. "Meh, I killed that filthy orange bitch 6 months ago when I found out I got her pregnant." Rainbow confessed before sonic rainboom-ing into Pearl, creating a hole in the building. The night was dark and stormy because of course it was. Then, Foxy came up and scraped Rainbow with his hook. "Pedopride!" he said before getting punched by Leafy.

"Alright, what's going on here?" he asked. "Foxy was watching child pornography on the Deep Web!" Rainbow explained. Just then, Leafy revealed his true reptilian form and grabbed Foxy. "oh damn this is kinky" Foxy said before being thrown into a nearby building.

This building was a nuclear power plant.

Inside the power plant was Sans, who was monitoring the place when Foxy came bursting through the wall. "heya, what's up?" Sans asked. "You gotta help me and Pearl! Rainbow Dash and Leafy just attacked me! I dindu nuffin!" Foxy explained. "whelp, no one messes with my friends." Sans said. He somehow knew where the others were and called them to the plant. When Rainbow, Pearl, and Leafy got there, the nuclear chemicals were flooding the building, but they got to the room Sans was in. When they got in, Pearl joined with her teammates and a battle ensued. Foxy used his speed and biting, Pearl used her spear, and Sans used his bones, while the other two just used melee combat. On the rooftop of another building was Sonic, who had all the chaos emeralds and was wielding two bazookas without any trouble. He saw that his friends, Rainbow and Calvin, were in trouble, so he jumped down and drop-kicked Sans. "hey, that hurt." Sans said before trying to stab Sonic with a bone, but the hedgehog turned into a Super Saiyan, I mean he turned into Super Sonic.

Sonic beat up Sans, crushed Foxy, and cracked Pearl. However, they all survived this. "DAMMIT!" Sonic said before taking out the Super Emeralds and became Hyper Sonic. He then did the same thing, and got the same results. "What!? What does it take to defeat these guys, a whole army of super forms?" Sonic asked. He then heard a faint yelling. "kameHameHA!!!!!!!!!!" Goku used his Kamehameha, which actually damaged Hyper Sonic. "Haha! How dare you wrong Foxy! Now I must end you!!!!!!!!!!!!" Goku went Super Saiyan. Yes, his Kamehameha was enough to damage Hyper Sonic even without him being a Super Saiyan. Goku then almost shattered Pearl, broke most of the bones in Sans' body, and split Foxy in half, though being a robot, Foxy didn't die. It seemed that Rainbow's team was winning, but then Super Saiyan Goku was hit with a bullet, which did a lot of damage to him. There was a 10 year old boy in a military suit on the road. It was a COD player.

After that, everyone charged at each other, trying to kill anyone in the other team. However, a bunch of other figures appeared in the distance. "Stop!" Chica said, exiting the pizzarea. "Yeah, this fighting is meaningless!" Rarity said, following Chica. "Pearl, why are you even doing this?" Amethyst said. "I PLEH POKEEMON GO EVEREYDAI!" the Pokemon Go song kid said. "guys, why can't we live in harmony?" Napstablook said. "Sonic, I thought you knew better than this!" Tails said. "For this out of character foolishness, WE HAVE TO BEAT YOU UP!" Krillin said, putting on brass knuckles made of diamond. "Sorry, but we have no choice." a Nintendo player said before they all charged at the others.

It was a long, tiring battle, but when it was over, Goku was the only one still alive. Realizing all of his friends were dead, he took out a sword and committed seppuku.

THE END


End file.
